Friend: Why don't you have a boyfriend?
Me: Because I'm a hot pot of rice who don't need no side dish.
In English Class
Some guy: Do you work with chickens?
My group: ...
The guy: Because you know how to raise a cock.
When my mom is on the phone
dominicandarwinism: Mom: Yeah, they’re great. She’s home, actually. Do you wanna say hi? Me:
Did tumblr seriously just ask me to find blogs...